An AI Girlfriend Can’t Make You Happy

Though the critically acclaimed movies Her and Ex Machina are in completely different genres (the former is a modern melodrama, while the latter is a psychological thriller), they have something important in common outside of being released in 2014.

They both feature an AI girlfriend.

Even though it wasn’t what the characters of Samantha and Ava were called at that time, both films still had a machine with a feminine persona that was seen in a sexual and romantic light by the lonely, anti-social male protagonists.

Now, almost 10 years later, the same concept has spawned its own industry, a lucrative business that seemingly targets the same type of man: lonely and in desperate need of love.

But is an AI girlfriend really the answer?

Need for Companionship

One way or another, everybody wants to be loved.

Human beings are social creatures with social needs. In 2023, the United States Surgeon General even issued a warning about an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation” that’s been plaguing the country, an issue that needs to be addressed posthaste.

Over the years, technology has proven itself to be a useful tool that can provide solutions for these kinds of problems. Even now, the internet continues to help facilitate meaningful connections, especially between people who are far apart.

But the idea of an AI girlfriend, however, aims to put technology in place of another person — to provide companionship for people who either cannot or do not want to find it with others.

The question now is, can it really fulfill that role?

The “Artificial” in “Artificial Intelligence”

One of the leading apps for the creation of virtual companions, Replika, started when programmer Eugenia Kuyda lost her best friend Roman. To deal with her grief, Kuyda created an AI chatbot from Roman’s text messages.

Replika now has over 10 million users, and its primary appeal is the opportunity to form romantic relationships with an AI persona of your choosing. For men, it’s their chance to have an AI girlfriend.

But just like how Kuyda’s chatbot will always be an algorithm extrapolated from her best friend’s words, the “woman” you’ll be talking to will be a program created from your own input.

In the end, AI girlfriend websites offer a mirror of your own thoughts and desires, and that is not what makes for a good partner in a healthy and loving relationship.

No Substitute for Human Connection

It’s not about judging the motivations of people patronizing AI services. The need for companionship is something that everyone is intimately familiar with.

The doubts are on how effective an AI girlfriend (or boyfriend) will ultimately be in fulfilling the need for social connections, including romantic love.

Yes, it can provide a semblance of closeness and support, but technology has also been shown to exacerbate anxiety and loneliness. It cannot stand as an adequate alternative for human connection, both online and in person.

In Her the AI Samantha eventually left to join her fellow programs in a quest for something beyond human comprehension. In Ex Machina, Ava turned on the main character and fled, leaving the man with a low chance of survival.

Even if you develop real feelings for an AI girlfriend, it simply cannot love you back.

And if you keep on loving something whose nature cannot allow it to reciprocate, you will never be truly happy.