Wanting a Golden Retriever Boyfriend Is Not Always a Good Thing

It turns out, dogs are not just man’s best friend.

Judging by the popularity of the golden retriever boyfriend phenomenon, dogs can also be woman’s . . . more-than-friend?

This isn’t the first time that people compared their romantic partners to distinctly non-human concepts. Humans are very good at personification, and love has oft been the object (or victim, depending on who you ask) of many a ridiculous metaphor just to get our point across.

Lately, people online have been really fond of using dogs to describe their lovers, and a favorite example is the famously cheerful and affectionate golden retriever.

From a rolodex of fictional characters to Taylor Swift’s football player beau, Travis Kelce, half the female population seems to have a golden retriever boyfriend in their pocket.

The other half? Well, they desperately want one.

No More Mister Tall, Dark, and Handsome

What is a golden retriever boyfriend?

The growing clamor for a romantic partner who is attentive, even-tempered, and quick to smile is a departure from the usual type of guy that women have been known to thirst after.

Before, it’s the Byronic Hero — a brooding, mysterious, and sometimes dangerously possessive bachelor whose love is as passionate as his inner demons. Basically, the opposite of a golden retriever boyfriend.

Whether this shift is a result of modern feminism or some other aspect of popular culture, no one can say for sure. In any case, plenty of women out there are still dreaming of finding their Bad Boy Romeo.

But as harmless and refreshing as it is to fantasize about a perpetually positive and doting boyfriend, it’s also worth noting that the concept isn’t perfect.

The golden retriever boyfriend is not the gold standard. It’s not for everyone, and not everyone who says they’re looking for one knows what they’re talking about.

Your Partner Is Not Your Pet

Though the comments online about walking their boyfriends and giving them treats or even teaching them tricks are made (mostly) in jest, they do reinforce my worries about the practice of comparing partners to dogs and other animals.

It blurs the line between wanting a companion you can spoil or brag to your friends about and wanting a fellow human being to be in a serious and committed relationship with you.

Preferring a golden retriever boyfriend because you want a man who is sweet and loyal is okay. That’s just personal preference.

But you also have to set the right expectations for yourself and the guy who will sign up to be with you.

Because a golden retriever boyfriend may be eager to please and accommodate you, but that doesn’t mean he will always be submissive and a slave to your wishes.

He may be attuned to your moods and familiar with your concerns, but he will not be able to read your mind.

No matter how loving and supportive your boyfriend is, he will still have flaws and insecurities. He will make mistakes and have bad days.

He will be grumpy. He will snap at you. There will be times when he will disagree with you.

Because while dogs are important members of the family, they are still pets.

Your golden retriever boyfriend, on the other hand, is your partner who will need to be treated as such.