Finding Love After Divorce Isn't Easy, but It's Not Impossible

Will I love again?

Will I find love after divorce?

Will anyone even go out with me?

These are just some of the questions divorcees ask themselves as they wonder if they have a second shot at love.

Many researchers rank divorce second among stressful life events, coming behind a spouse’s or child’s death. That placement isn’t unfounded; ending a marriage is taxing especially on your mental health. It can make you doubt your views on love, and at worst, yourself. Splitting away from a spouse just leaves an awful feeling that may take a while to recover from.

Failed marriages suck, but fortunately, they’re not a death sentence. In response to the three questions above, yes—you can find love after divorce. However, it doesn’t come without its struggles.

Challenges of Being Divorced

Splitting up with spouses is a tale as old as time. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that they’re difficult.

When this happens to us, we tend to see it as a personal failure on our part. Even if our spouses are just as responsible as we are for the split, we can’t help but point fingers at ourselves.

Every divorcee has unique post-split struggles, but we’ve compiled some general challenges most divorced people can relate to after calling it quits:

1. Emotional pain

Divorces are emotional rollercoasters. You’ll feel angry, sad, scared, confused, overwhelmed, and lost at the same time.

And because they’re heavy feelings, working through the trauma of divorce is an exhausting experience. Bouncing back means facing the bad and the ugly of the distress before getting to the good, a.k.a. healing.

2. Trust issues

More often than not, people who’ve been through divorce develop trust issues. It’s a natural reaction to the pain from their splits, no matter how amicable or acrimonious they were.

Divorcees aren’t the only people developing trust issues; their children start having them too. This effect is a lead-in to the next challenge.

3. Welfare of children

Divorcees with children not only have to think of themselves. Most of all, they need to look out for their kids. Looking for love after divorce is low on their priority list when they’ve got kids to raise.

Parenthood is already challenging as it is, but doing it alone is a more difficult undertaking. And that’s not even mentioning potential custody battles. If you’re experiencing this and need help, don’t hesitate to ask for legal and psychological counseling.

4. Confronting a new reality

Failed marriages may lead to situations and places divorcees didn’t think they’d be in or return to. For example, some are left without a place to stay because they had to leave their shared home with their spouse. Others find themselves penniless, returning to their parents’ houses.

New realities leave divorcees no choice but to adjust to their situations. Making changes may be difficult because it feels as if they’re starting their lives over.

Divorce and Dating: It’s Never Too Late to Find Love

Failed marriages may tempt you to become jaded about love. And we don’t blame you for feeling that way. However, don’t reject your chances at romantic happiness just yet.

Like other daters, divorcees have a fair shot at finding romance. It’s not strange to find someone dating someone recently divorced either; provided that both parties are single, there’s nothing to scoff about.

You may not believe this, but divorcees have an edge when re-entering the dating scene. But what are these advantages?

Maturity and experience

Divorced people have different insights and perspectives on romance compared to unmarried people. They’ve taken every lesson from their past relationships and applied them in their present ones. Some of us can use those realizations to broaden our views on love.

Defined priorities

When divorcees look for love after divorce, they know what they want and how they’ll get it. Their past experiences have helped them know what to pick and who to avoid. Dating a divorced person means that mind games are less likely to happen because they’ve been there and done that.

They believe in commitment

Their marriages may have failed, but many divorcees still believe in commitment. That’s a refreshing attitude in a world that’s grown disillusioned about love marriage.

So yes, finding true love after divorce is possible. If your hope is wavering, don’t give up. There will be someone out there who won’t care about your divorce status.

Emotional and financial stability

A divorcee’s past experiences have driven them to get their life in order. They’ve seen good, bad, and, ugly things, which helps them keep their feelings in check. Most of the time, you won’t see one getting too high or low on their emotions.

And because of their divorced status, they know better than to waste their money. Most divorcees usually keep their financial health in shape because they have no one else to depend on.

How to Meet People After Divorce

Can you find love after divorce? Absolutely. But where can you meet people open to dating divorcees?

Mingle with fellow singles through these paths:

1. Online dating

Dating sites and apps cater to a wide range of individuals. Divorcees are among those many daters, so don’t be too surprised to find one looking for love online.

If you’re interested, give online dating a shot! Signing up won’t take much of your time since most platforms don’t ask for much information other than basic details (name, age, gender, etc.).

2. Socials

Your chances of meeting someone after divorce are more likely to happen if you go out. Why not give dating socials a shot? Some online dating platforms host events that invite daters to get to know one another. You may find a special connection in one of them while having a great time.

3. Reconnecting with acquaintances

Sometimes, love just surprises us. For example, some people’s first date after a divorce is with someone they already know.

Will this be awkward? Maybe. However, don’t get weirded out by it! Use your date as a chance to get to know each other better. You may be surprised that you’ll have more in common than you think.

[Conclusion]

Don’t close your door to love after divorce. It may take a while before you find someone great to date, so be prepared to meet great and not-so-great singles. However, that shouldn’t discourage you from trying your luck.