Breaking Down the Barriers of Age-Gap Relationships

People will always have their opinion when they see age-gap relationships, but don’t mind the noise.

If age is just a number, why would you hesitate to date a person much younger or older than you?

Age-gap relationships, otherwise known as May-December affairs, aren’t the novelty they once were. But while these relationships have become more and more accepted over time, they still raise a few eyebrows.

People often debate over age gaps and the impact they have on your romance. Some say that age doesn’t matter in love. Seeing two people in a genuinely loving relationship is enough to silence their doubts, despite the age difference.

However, others strongly argue that age gaps only lead to undesirable results. They wonder how a person can possibly be in a relationship with someone considerably older or younger. They wonder why that person won’t date someone in their age bracket instead.

Regardless of our opinions, here’s the reality: couples with age gaps, especially large ones, can last. We’ve seen examples of that, from our friends and family to public figures and famous people. Ultimately, if they’re happy, who are we to question that?

Let’s dive into the discourse and challenges surrounding age-gap relationships. We’ll also talk about their benefits and give you tips on making this kind of relationship work.

The debate on age-gap relationships

Age-gap relationships have always been a popular topic of debate, and for good reason.

When people see, for example, a man dating a woman 25 years younger than him, they may form two kinds of opinions.

Some may find such a relationship distasteful. They may not share their opinion directly, but they will make their disgust known.

Where does this aversion come from? Most likely, from their upbringing.

Many cultures reject the idea of falling in love with someone significantly older or younger than them. So when some of us see a woman having a baby with a man 20 years older than her, we experience disgust, because such a situation goes against our core values and beliefs.

Power dynamics are also a popular talking point in the age gap discourse. More often than not, both parties are in different stages and situations in the professional, emotional, and financial aspects of their lives. Therefore, there’s a possibility that one party may be using the other person for their benefit.

In many cultures, a man dating a woman 25 years younger than him is an unacceptable practice.

If one side balks at the thought of age-gap relationships, the other doesn’t mind their existence.

For some people, age doesn’t determine someone’s wisdom. They believe that older people aren’t always automatically mature. And there is truth to that matter: just because one party in the relationship is older doesn’t mean they know better than the younger person.

You can tell a person’s maturity level by observing their reactions and responses to life situations. If they act poorly, you’ll know they still need some character development.

You can apply this logic to couples with considerable age gaps. If the younger party has a more appropriate response to a crisis than the older person, you can tell who’s the more mature party.

What Is an Acceptable Age Gap?

The appropriate gap in age between two romantic partners is a much-contested subject. Some say two to five years isn’t a problem at all. And while some people don’t take issue with a 14-year age gap, others think it’s highly inappropriate.

The truth is that there’s no rule or limit toward age-gap relationships. As long as each party involved is a consenting adult, there should be no issue. So, when a guy says age is just a number, they most likely want their partner to view their age gap as a good thing rather than a hindrance.

Introducing the Rule of Seven

There is, however, an unofficial rule regarding age gaps.

French author and journalist Max O’Rell believed that an age gap in a relationship should follow a formula. Per his calculations, a person should divide their age in half, then add seven to the quotient.

The result of that addition is your acceptable age gap. Here’s how it works: if, for example, you’re a 28-year-old guy, divide your age by two, then add seven. 28 divided by two is 14, plus 7 equals 21. Therefore, you should date someone no younger than 21 years old.

Should you follow this half-of-7 rule? That’s your choice. You’re the one in control of your decision-making in relationships, so it’s up to you if you want to test this theory.

The Positives of Age-Gap Relationships

For happy couples with significant age differences, age doesnt matter in love.

Despite all the criticisms age gaps get, some couples with considerable age gaps are satisfied with their relationships. These are some of the reasons contributing to their happiness:

1. Readiness for criticism

Couples with significant age differences are aware of the flack surrounding their relationships. And with that, they approach things together with honesty and self-awareness.

2. Wider viewpoints

Older people tend to have different perspectives from younger ones. While that may be challenging, the difference is also beneficial. It encourages May-December couples to see things from other viewpoints, opening their minds and learning new lessons in the process.

3. Boosted confidence

Because older people have seen and experienced many things, they’re more confident in approaching life situations. Their confidence can empower and motivate their younger partners to practice the same amount of self-assurance.

Age is Just a Number in Marriage and Love: How to Bridge Age Gaps

How can May-December couples meet halfway through their relationships? Establish a healthy compromise by taking these suggestions:

1. Recognize and welcome your

differences Younger and older people are in different life stages, and there’s no changing that. Regardless of your age, what you can do is support your partner as they go through their character and life development.

2. Embrace mutual interests

Mutual interests won’t diminish age gaps, but they do make them feel smaller. Bond over your shared love of things (like music and sports, for example) and try new activities together.

3. Establish boundaries

Everyone needs their space to function better as humans. Take some time for reflection and leisure. You are not just someone’s partner—you have a life outside your relationship.

4. Be mindful of how you handle criticism

We’re aware of the backlash that comes with May-December relationships; some come from places of concern, while others are harsh.

We recommend that you and your partner desensitize yourselves from some negative judgments. We also suggest formulating responses to frequently asked questions and comments to silence the noise.

5. Keep your expectations reasonable

Does this advice apply to every relationship? Yes. For couples with huge age gaps, following this tip is a must. The older party may want one thing (like, for example, children), while the younger person has different priorities. Avoid potential conflicts by being honest with your expectations.

We shouldn’t treat age-gap relationships like a taboo. Instead, let’s look at them the way we view most couples. Remember: age is just one of the many elements contributing to a relationship’s success. What matters is the love you have for each other and your willingness to make your relationship work.