The Politics of Splitting Up Your Holiday Celebrations as a Couple

Don’t be miserable if you won’t be able to play cards with your brothers or take a sip of your mother’s homemade Tom and Jerry this Christmas.

Choosing whose family to spend the holidays with this year causes relationship drama, and it’s not the type you’d enjoy watching with a can of soda and popcorn in your hand.

Nothing can ruin your Christmas more than making a tough call picking whose house to go to this year. The mind-boggling stakes of planning your holiday can either help or sabotage your celebration in more ways than one.

Breaking from your holiday traditions is a sacrifice, and this is what you’d most likely make when you’re dating as a long distance couple. The only good thing about being single during the holidays, if there really is, is that you won’t have to compromise spending time with your family.

But when you’re dating a foreign woman, Christmas is your perfect excuse to see her. Instead of using your year-end savings to buy everyone gifts, you would rather get costly plane tickets to her home country just to see her.

For some, reaching a decision might even be a nightmare. Because such choices tend to favor one party over the other, arguments and issues are always likely to take place. Especially if it’s your first Christmas together, a rift is the last thing you both want.

And if she gives you the everybody-has-to-be-together-this-Christmas card, what’s a man like you to say? To help you figure it out, here are a few tips for you:

Sit down for the ‘conversation’.

The recipe for a great holiday trip is careful planning. Matters such as this don’t have to be on hold. It’s best to discuss this with her as soon as possible. Doing so will save you time from making last-minute changes to your travel itinerary, and you won’t get to spend your holiday arguing.

Make the whole thing less of a deal by handling it head-on.

It’s alright not to see everyone in the family on Christmas Day.

Your idea of an unforgettable Christmas might be to see each other’s families. But the thing is, it’s pointless to force this kind of celebration. Not only is it bothersome to travel amidst the occasion, but it also takes away a big chunk of your time.

As much as you’d love to be with your family this yuletide season, know that there’s always a better time for it.

Don’t easily commit or promise to anyone you’ll be there.

Families, especially parents, look forward to the end of the year, knowing that they’ll get to see their children come home. As a couple who live far away from each other, you know this complication all too well.

Chances are, your parents have called and asked whether you will visit and take her with you, and her parents might have also wished that you spend the holiday with them.

If this happens, don’t give a definite answer yet if you don’t want to be in trouble. Either you’ll disappoint your family for changing plans, or she’ll be furious about you making decisions without her.

Communicate with both sides of the family.

If one family feels left out, it might set up a competition that’ll only stress everyone involved. After all, your family might be cool with whatever decision you come up with. Who knows?

This is why you don’t sweat the small stuff. Make it simple by talking to both sides of the family. While you’re at it, make sure your partner finds the decision agreeable.

Choose your battles.

Christmas is a meaningful celebration to most people, but it isn’t the same for everyone.

As a couple, decide which holidays matter more and be open about the traditions important to you. This way, you won’t have to go through the stressful decision-making of picking where to spend your Christmas.

Remember that it’s helpful to spell things out in black and white.

Be merry no matter where you are.

There are different holiday traditions around the world, and celebrating them differently each year is exciting. Regardless of whose family you’re spending Christmas with, always get your game face on.

Because you don’t share the same traditions, it’s important that you experience Christmas in each other’s culture.

Understand that families are hardly identical.

Her family might not be very fond of giving each other gifts, and your family may not prefer wine over traditional drinks. When you’re an interracial couple spending Christmas together, respecting each other’s traditions should be the first thing on your list.

There’s no reason to feel bad about being away from your family for the first time.

If you celebrate this year’s Christmas with her family, you’d treasure your traditions even more and look forward to next year knowing you can get to spend it at home with your family again.

Reminder: There’s a good reason why you’re spending Christmas together.

One of the most common long distance relationship problems is not seeing each other as often as you want. Because you’re a thousand miles apart, you make the most out of every opportunity there is for you to spend time with each other in the flesh.

Although turning up an agreement on splitting your holidays can put you on edge, set aside your uneasiness and don’t let it get in the way of your Christmas spirit.

When you’re overwhelmed by the new culture and people that surround you, remind yourself of the reason why you’re there in the first place.

Celebrating Alternate Holidays

One of the most dreaded things about international dating is meeting each other’s families. Other than the language barrier, you’re mostly worried about impressing her parents, who have an entirely different set of values and traditions from you.

Because Christmas is when families are together, and everyone feels loved, find why celebrating the holidays in her culture would help your relationship.

No matter how much you want to be home together with your loved ones, decisions have to be made. And if it means celebrating alternate holidays, why not?

Isn’t it exciting to get to know and play with her nieces this year and wrap gifts with your father next year?