How to Stop Chasing After the Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Early this year, the student-run news magazine of Georgetown University published an article about the death of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

For those who are unfamiliar, the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” was coined by film critic Nathan Rabin in 2007 when he talked about the movie Elizabethtown and the character portrayed by actress Kirsten Dunst.

Described as someone who “exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors” as a tool to help men discover all the beautiful things in life, this type of woman has created a distinct standard for both men and women that continued to be influential for over a decade.

Now that it's apparently saying goodbye to popular culture, let’s examine how we can move on from this mindset in terms of dating.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl in Real Life

For women, it’s easy to be fooled by Manic Pixie Dream Girl examples, especially when they enter the dating world and meet men whose ideal woman is patterned after this famous character trope.

In fact, wikiHow even has an article that details all the ways someone can be the ultimate MPDG, with tips that encourage women to be optimistic, wear vintage clothing, and avoid being too high maintenance.

On the flip side, the men who end up believing that they want to date and someday marry a Manic Pixie Dream Girl end up disappointed when they realize that she doesn’t exist — and even if she does, she may not be the best kind of partner to have for a healthy, long-term relationship.

Finding a Real Woman

The fact that she’s mysterious and quirky can be attractive to a lot of men, but it’s those same characteristics that also make a Manic Pixie Dream Girl difficult to pursue.

Because she’s put on a high pedestal, men are convinced that the challenges are normal and expected. That the struggle is the price you pay to get the girl.

But in actual relationships, that just isn’t the case. You need to abandon an ideal created by fictional standards and remind yourself that real women are more than characters in a movie.

• Remember that women are human beings with flaws.

  Unlike a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, real women aren’t one-dimensional creatures of mystery.

  They are imperfect individuals with flaws that may not always be endearing. They have dreams and aspirations, and not all of their beliefs will be the same as yours.

• Be realistic about your expectations.

  When meeting and dating women, avoid having unrealistic expectations.

  More than remembering that they have flaws, you should also remember that a healthy relationship doesn’t build itself right away. It takes time and commitment. It needs effort from both parties to reach a level of understanding and intimacy that makes love worth every sacrifice.

  Getting to know a woman and falling in love with her every step of the way is far better than looking for a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who seems to be made perfectly for you.

• Be straightforward about what you want in a relationship.

  Being upfront about what you want in a partner and in a relationship allows you to avoid getting fixated on the MPDG trope and quickly spot dating red flags in a woman.

  Those who emulate the characters of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl are often not ready for a serious relationship, so being clear about the kind of commitment you want from the get-go will help you connect with women who want the same things you do.